Food For Thought

A Collection of Heretical Notions and Wretched Adages
compiled by Jack Tourette

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God was bored, so God split. That is, God divided into multiple beings. Now God had lots of company, but they were all bored. Omnipotence and omniscience were boring, so god imposed limits. god now thought, this sucks! Why do we suffer fear, pain, and death? Why are we here? god decided to improve things. This took a long time, because their power was now finite. Slowly, god discovered ways to relieve suffering and postpone death. god eventually learned to control the universe. god had finally eliminated suffering, conquered death, and created an existence unlimited by time or space - god had become God! However, God grew bored...
© 1999 by MonkeyPants Press, an imprint of Bonobo Books, a division of Consolidated Trout, Ltd.
Last update: 03-July-2015
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