Jack Tourette, born 16 or 19 April 1943 (reports differ),
has had a varied career:
florist (Beau Coup Bouquets),
health food store manager (Cous Cous Etc. Etc.),
baker (Madam Beverly's House of Pain; Gut Pain (Germam/French bakery)),
brewer (inventor of "Dry Ice" beer),
pet footwear salesman (Just 4 Feet),
"Star Wars" engineer (Nala Aerospace Corp.),
theme restaurateur (Wakes for Steaks, Pixxa Shed, Pugilist Cafe,
Asperger's Burgers - We Make Them Exactly the Way You Want 'Em,
Betty Ford's Noodle House - The Place to get Soba),
musician (Boy George Michael Jackson Browne, DJ Dervish),
playwright ("Beans: The Musical"),
ATMM (ATM Machine) technician,
primal scream therapist, and
Jack is the author of ASL for Dummies. He is working on a new
book detailing the nine years of therapy in which he discovered he is a lesbian
trapped in a man's body. Jack notes that this discovery has not necessitated
any lifestyle changes.
Jack recently became a citizen of The Kingdoms of Elgaland-Vargaland, where
he serves as Minister of Heresy. He spends most of his waking hours in front
of the television, and does his best to minimize contact with other people.
Despite his apparent misanthropy, he has a great love for humanity; if you
ever get a chance, give him a punch in the nose!